Yesterday I snapped.
I smacked her and put her on her "naughty mat" in the bathroom.
I could hear her screaming and yelling "MUMMY!!" over and over and I didn't budge. I was so angry, I had enough. I was adament that she would spend her full 3 minutes in time out.
I have an egg timer in the bathroom for such occassions and I didn't even bother switching in on.
I didn't budge.
I made her stay in there for three minutes.
When I went in eventually she was blinded by snot and tears. I explained to her why she was put in the naughty mat. I made her apologies. She hugged me and through her snot and tears said "Sowwy Mummy".
Gosh I feel like utter CRAP today thinking back on her little sad face.
I can only imagine how I looked through her eyes - shouting and screaming like a banshee. A giant witch, flinging her arms around bellowing at the top of her lungs and eventually smacking her.
I must've frightened the shit out of her.
I wish I could take it all back.