On Sunday night I woke up at 1am with the worst chronic pain ever!
It felt like someone was jamming a very pointy rusty nail deep into the root of one of my teeth. The entire right side of my face hurt and the pain shot up into my head and deep down into my jaw bone.
I was in total agony!
After moaning like an dying old fucking cow and pacing up and down the passage clutching my face, I managed to find some Synap Forte that I had left over from a surgery I had about a year ago. I popped two immediately. It look a while for them to kick in - it was the worst and longest 40 minutes ever...
I held my face tight with both hands and rocked myself back and forward, sobbing like a heart-broken child. Why does applying pressure to a painful area seem to soothe it? Nothing would take this kind of pain away...
I was contemplating finding my Boerewors' tool box and using his rusty pliers to rip that muthafuckin-piece-of-shit-tooth out by myself! I was actually thinking about doing a "Worzel Gummidge" and ripping my own damn head off! I have never experienced such stabbing pain. Never!
Fuck it! I would even go through natural childbirth TWICE rather than go through that pain. It was actually blinding - undescribable agony.
My Boerewors tried to help - bless him - by applying a hot face cloth to the area, he even suggested we go to the ER. He said he's never seen me in such pain. Thanx to the drugs, I eventually fell asleep and apparently I was talking gobbledy goop in my sleep, completely delirious - the drugs were obviously good shit.
On Monday morning when I woke up, I popped another two Synap Forte (my new Best Friend just by the way) and I dragged myself to work. I made an emergency appointment with my Dentist. He squeezed me in and took a panorama x-ray of my aching face. His diagnosis? An abscess! You tell me - how the fuck can an infection cause such awesome pain??
No seriously! Surley I at least have a fucking brain tumor the size of a large pumpkin to explain the pain I experienced?
So anyhoo, I walked around dazed and drugged at work the entire day on Monday and of course everyone suggested and offered various toothache home remedies from whiskey, rescue remedy and making a poltus paste with paracetamol and anesthetic cream and applying it straight onto the throbbing area.
I was hearing nothing of it! I had My New Best Friend - Synap Forte!
So, bottom line, I'm on a pretty heavy doze of penicillin antibiotics (two HUGE horse pills), anti-inflammatory, inter flora and My New Best Friends aka Synap Forte three times a day.
Or can someone source these Cocaine Toothache Drops. They do claim instantaneous cure - for only 15 cents! Fucking Bargain!