Monday Male

Meet Bob (not his real name) from NoWriter, JustAnOverthinker who is another interesting Scotsman who's blog I love to visit.

Oh great thanks to Gillian and her Monday Male, I have a chance to talk about myself in a new arena, just the excuse I need. I suppose those of you who don't know me might wonder who I am. In the blogging arena my alter ego is known as Scotsman and my blogging home is No Writer, Just An Overthinker.

As you might guess from that I am Scottish. I can be found living in the Good Ole U S of A in a State where the people rarely understand my accent. The reason for living there? Well that comes down to having met a Chilean woman, only the second Hispanic I ever met, what happened to the first? Well as nice as he was he just didn't do it for me.

What else can I say about me? I'm a protestant Glasgow Celtic fan, which to the rest of the world probably doesn't mean that much but if you were from Glasgow and knew the history of the place it might go some way to explaining why I no longer live there. I have two step kids, one six, one a couple of weeks shy of being four who both have been converted into loving their 'chips' but on occasion think I'm too 'Scottish.' Kids!

I started blogging because I wanted a book deal, a movie deal and a biography deal. Actually that's a lie, that sounds like too much pressure and commitment for someone with no writing skills. I blog because its fun and I occasionally need an outlet for the pish that rolls around inside my heid.

Now to the questions that Gillian set, I was hoping for multiple choice but nae such luck.

1. Where were you born in Scotland and when did you leave to go to the good ol' U S of A?

I was born in Glasgow in the year of the snake a few hours after the King of Rock N Roll died and moved to the USA last year not much more than a few months before the King of Pop died. Sounds egotistical but I might be bad luck to musical royalty.

2. Are you a true Scotsman in the sense that you're stingy with your money or will you, on occassion, buy someone else a pint?

I'm careful with my money but if I've got it I'll spend it. Though you won't find me in a bar in Utah very often, thanks to the Mormons its kind of hard to find one.

3. What is the best thing about being married to a Chilean woman?

Oh thats easy, milk chocolate nipples. They are better than Tunnocks Tea Cakes any day of the week.

We are surprisingly very similar despite our upbringing so its probably a close run thing between my poor attempt at picking up Spanish and my lack of dancing skills that give my new family the most laughs.

4. Why do most men refused to ask for directions?

Men like the scenic route. Dr Livingstone wasn't lost, he was exploring, meeting new people.

5. As a Scotsman - Celtic or Rangers?

I was never a season ticket holder due to not having the time to take Saturday's off work so I never saw a Celtic vs Rangers game at Parkhead. However when I was younger and a student I did work at Ibrox for a season and a half as a match Steward. As a result I did take in a couple of Rangers vs Celtic games. I spent most of the game looking up to into the stands with my back facing the pitch so instead of enjoying the game I was looking at around 15000 very angry Rangers supporters while their team was getting beat. Any time I heard the words "He's a Celtic fan!" I would shrink a little more into the neck collar of my jacket until I determined that the person shouting was pointing at me. On those match days the walk to Buchanan Bus Station after the game seemed to take a little longer.

Why the rivalry between the clubs? I don't know. Could be its not helped by the fact that they are the two biggest clubs in Scotland, the Ireland connection and the fact that young people are inventive when it comes to keeping warm on a cold Scottish night.

6. What would be written on your gravestone?

Here lies a few bones and lots of hungry creepy crawlies looking for their next meal to feed on.

7. If you had a movie made about yerself? What would it be called and who would play your role?

What Did He Do? A first time actor I had never heard of and wouldn't hear of again.

8. Does it matter to men whether she has natural or fake boobs?

It matters to me that my wife has some very fine natural ones.

9. Who is your alter ego and why?

Other than blogging I'm too lazy to have an alter ego, now give me the remote to the tv - oh wait there are more questions?

10. What do you think would make men and women live happily ever after?

Not even bank managers believe in fairy tales anymore.

11. If you could have a super power for a day, which would you choose and why?

It would be nice to be able to click my finger and instantly have the dinner of my choice laid out in a plate before me. What do you call that power? Greed or a restaurants worst nightmare?

12. Do women pre-judge men on their outta wrapping?

Of course. My wife thought I was flaco (that's Chilean for skinny) and anorexic, but this flaco like Dr Jekyll hides a secret and is actually a chancho (that's Chilean for pig) by night.

13. Do blondes (I'm talking women naturally) really have more fun?

I don't know about the fun element because I've never really been attracted to blondes.

14. Do you belive in love at first sight?

I don't believe it works for the blind.

15. A threesome. Who would your two women be and why?

I ain't a juggler and despite living in a the US I don't feel the need for a lawyer, a psychiatrist or depression pills, I'm happy with one woman at a time thanks she more than keeps me happy.

Is that the end of the spotlight?

Thanks Gillian for the opportunity to borrow your blog for a bit, but now I need to get off the brown leather chair and do some real work.


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